The Bridesmaid's Dress: PART 1

READER DISCRETION ADVISED: If you are getting married at the Botanical Gardens on July 19, 2008, do not read this blog entry. All other brides, proceed with caution.

I am a bridesmaid in a wedding in NYC on July 19th. It is the wedding of one of my dearest friends and when I was asked to come to China for this assignment, I knew that I would figure out a way to make sure that I could still be a part of this important event in her life. In the end, it works out quite nicely: J&J offers us one home visit and July is about halfway from when we left and when our families will visit in the fall.

I kept my fingers crossed that I would receive the dress before I left, with enough time to get it altered in the USA. Luck was not on my side, and therefore, Lauren (Aaron's sister) picked up my dress at Vera Wang in NYC and gave it to Aaron to bring to me in China. The 8 foot long dress hung in my Shanghai closet for about 2 weeks, nagging me to get it altered to fit my 5'2" body. (I wonder exactly how tall a woman has to be to fit into a bridesmaids dress and NOT need it shortened...). Anyway, I finally seek advice on where I should get the dress tailored. (simple alterations needed: shorten the straps, shorten the hem, and tuck in, just a little, underneath my arms) I asked an Expat who works at SIRVA, our relocation company, for a suggestion. She (her name is Annelies) suggested a tailor near to her home who she knows very well. I ask her to come to the appointment with me as the tailor does not speak a word of English and she speaks fluent Chinese.

I wont say how much this bridesmaid dress cost, but for those who know, you know its not a little. So, I take my very long, and very not-so-inexpensive dress to the Chinese tailor. Annelies and I meet there on a Sunday afternoon. To set the scene, its about 100 degrees outside, and the humidity is like you are walking behind a bus. The tailor shop is this little room, open to the street (so maybe 110 degrees!), stacked with fabrics (see photo). The fabric piles are arranged to leave two openings where 2 different people sit and sew (like a capital E if you were looking from above). Hanging out by the piles of fabric are locals who chit-chat with the tailors during the afternoon. As I enter, a few thoughts run through my head: a) don't be judgmental Rebecca... this is China... things are different, I'm sure they know what they are doing. b) this dress was probably made in China anyway! c) don't let the dress touch the floor (there wasn't much difference between the sidewalk and the floor of the shop) d) where am I going to change? (Underwear - no bra - is the only thing I can wear under the dress)

In order to change, we had to strongly encourage one of the tailors in the small opening of piles of fabric to move (she was not so happy about this saying, in what I interpreted to be, "I WONT LOOK!." I use all caps because she was talking very loudly, sounding like she was angry, but I've come to learn that that's just how Chinese people talk.) Annelies said something in Chinese which I heard to be, "blah blah blah USA blah blah blah Shanghai." Whatever she said, worked. The lady, not so happy, moved. Then, Annelies took a piece of thin fabric, say 3 ft by 6ft, and held it up between us, telling me, "Ok dear, change." Yep, this was my changing room. It was like when you are little kid at the beach and your mom holds up a towel. Only now, its with 4 Chinese men 3 feet away with just a tiny piece of fabric separating us, and me needing to put my 29 year-old naked, post-pubescent, and very sweaty body, into a very long, black-tie silk dress!

OK. Dress on. Tailor and Annelies talk and poke and tuck the fabric around me (speaking Chinese so I have no idea what they are saying). Pretty normal tailor experience. Except, I must add that I've became a mini-spectacle. I'd say about 5 people have crowded in front of the store (just Chinese walkers-by) to look at me, in this fancy dress, in this room. One person even took a picture of me with their camera phone. (no joke) "haha, look at the funny white girl in the fancy dress!" OK. Pins in. Chalk drawn. Then, tiny fabric held up again. I change out of the dress. We negotiate a price ($10), and I leave thinking, "I hope that works out ok......." Aaron, being the eternal optimist says, "Bec, of course it will work out!" I hope he's right.

(Sara: if you've gone against my advice and decided to read this blog anyway, dont worry!! The dress will be fine!!)

Putting faces to the stories...

Here are some photos:

Top left - Vince with us, Matt & Lena.

Top right - Mr. Gu with us

Bottom - Roy with Matt & Lena (Roy, very strong!!)

One giant step for bloggers...

In the world of blogging, we've stepped up to the next level... our blog was recently sited on another blog. Granted, it is one of our dear friend's blog, but nevertheless... check it out (by the way, the author of the blog a) has the cutest pups, see pic and b) is hitting Hollywood by storm!):

http://stephy629.blogspot.com/2008/05/beloved-blog.html

"A Beloved Blog
I have these two friends, we'll call them Bec and Aaron, that have a blogspot together, that I love love love to visit. They love each other and they love life and it's fun to read about their thoughts and experiences and even more fun to see a couple doing a joint blog like that (I can just hear AJ now saying in the background his familiar quip "Don't even think about it!" every time I talk about this to someone...) but I just find it to be so neat to read their different perspectives, their different voices as they come through on the page, and yet also their similarities... which are just as apparent. The two of them live in NYC (ok, Hoboken) and are spending a little under a year in China-- Shanghai to be exact-- and they started the blog to keep up with their friends and loved ones back here in AMERICA.In many ways, their stories reminded me of our experience being Angelinos amongst the Filipinos. Then, there's that whole West vs East comparison... and in the begining, they too, were separated and experiencing most of their relationship via SKYPE-- but now they are both there, and I am back here, and it's just a neat way for me to communicate with them, even if I don't see them every day. I don't when they are in America, actually-- so I feel like I am "seeing" them even more now that they are in CHINA! Kinda funny...Anyway just thought I would share that little tidbit. They write well and it's entertaining. And they're just really cute and lovely people. "

Loveline with Mr. Gu

While there are still several other notable experiences to share from the past couple of weeks, Rebecca and I had a very blog-worthy evening. Our good Chinese friend, Vince, invited us to his parents' home for dinner with his parents and to play badminton afterwards with his father and his girlfriend Jing-Jing. We had very good home-cooked meal and enjoyed fun and competitive rallies in badminton. While both Rebecca and my badminton skills are improving, we have a long way to go. Mr. Gu (our driver) picked up Rebecca and me and we gave Vince and Jing-Jing a ride home as well. During the drive, we asked Vince to translate into Chinese several lingering practical questions to Mr. Gu, since there are some things that are hard to communicate to him and because Vince's English-speaking ability is outstanding. Vince was very helpful in clearing up some of our questions about Mr. Gu's availability and coordinating our schedules. We also conveyed how much we like Mr. Gu and the feelings appeared mutual. We dropped off Vince and Jing-Jing and headed home. Apparently, something happened during these translations with Mr. Gu that set-off a entirely new level of conversational comfort because of came next:

Mr. Gu: You know Roy? Lena driver?

Us: Yeah (We know Roy. Mr. Gu and Roy are beer-drinking buddies)

Mr. Gu: Roy go with Lena, Matt to Shenzen Friday (Lena and Matt are Rebeca's coworkers, Shenzen is a place in China)

Us: Oh, yeah?

Mr. Gu: Roy go to bar. Meet beautiful girl (making the silhouette of girl with his hands while he's driving)

Us: Really?!

Mr. Gu: Yes! Roy stay girl Shenzen. Yesterday girl come Shanghai.

Us: Wow...Roy!!! (Roy is known to be a ladies' man among the drivers)

Mr. Gu: Roy, girl, sex! You know sex?! (for some reason he yells "sex")

Us: (laughing and a bit caught off guard) Yes, we know! We know!

Mr. Gu: Roy ask Gu find hotel. Not 300 yuan, not 500 yuan, 200 yuan! (500 yuan = $60 USD)

Us: Wow, Roy!

Mr. Gu: No hotel 200 yuan! Roy come my home. My wife say, "No way!" Chinese people no like friend sex in home! You know!? My wife say, "No way Gu!" (still screaming "sex" each time)

Rebecca (laughing hysterically): Not just Chinese people no like friend sex in home! (she oftens communicates to Chinese people in broken English. We both do, seriously.)

Mr. Gu: Roy go parents home with girl. They say, "no way!"

Us: Where did Roy go?

Mr. Gu (as we're pulling up to our apt): Hotel. Roy, sex, 5 time!!! (exclaiming it by showing us all of his 5 fingers) Roy very strong! My wife say, "Roy very strong!" (he's repeatedly making a muscle with his bicep as he declares Roy's apparent strength). Sex, 5 time! I die. Roy and my wife! Oy. Roy strong. (he didn't actually say "oy" but it was the Chinese equivalent)

Us (rolling out of the car laughing): Roy strong, Roy strong!

Apparently, Mr. Gu's English is improving...as is Roy's sex life and strength!

Yo man, Ro man.

There is much to share, but first and foremost I wanted to announce that Eric and Sara have a new baby! Roman Alexander Price was born on May 25th, 2008 weighing in at 7 lbs 13 oz. Rebecca and I got to video chat with the entire family on the night that they came home from the hospital and it was great! Here is a pic of the the chat. Unfortunately, I didn't think to take the picture until after Rebecca had left for work, so you can only see my small head on the bottom left of the screen. Apparently, Eden has been saying things like, "I love you, Baby Roman." Awesome. Rebecca and I are eagerly anticipating meeting our new nephew in person. Congratulations Eric and Sara!

Random thoughts at 5 am from a jet-lagged American

1) In totally unrelated news, today I opened my email to an article about this lovely gadget. I don't want to lock my cars doors and sperm count with the same device. Click here for the full story from Popular Science magazine. I can see it now, "Hey Jimmy, how come you were having so much trouble having a child?" "I was a parking valet for too many years."

2) We went to a Korean BBQ for dinner last night. Sad to report that dog meat was an option on the menu. Don't tell Eden, Joshua, Lauren, or Duke. Happy to report we didn't try it. The food that we cooked over the coals on the grill built on the middle of the table was excellent. One of the major perks of this restaurant: they provide paper napkins on the tables. This is the first restaurant in China that Rebecca or I have been to that provided napkins. Coincidentally, we bought napkins at the grocery store yesterday to start bringing with us to restaurants, but fortunately the Koreans also see them as a necessity. I'm a napkin kind-of person.

3) We live next to a really huge and fancy mall. It's much like the Short Hills Mall, Legacy Village, or Columbus Circle, but probably nicer than all of them. Inside, you wouldn't have any idea you're in China, at least what you probably imagine China to be. Coach, DKNY, Versace, Calvin Klein, Nike Golf, Clinique, Haggen Daz, Starbucks, another Starbucks, another Starbucks inside the Starbucks, Papa Johns, and 3-D movie theater. I'm very conflicted about its presence. Part of me is pleasantly reminded of Western comforts, while part of me is disappointed that parts of Shanghai have taken on an Anytown, USA (or Anytown, World) look to them. Although, the store called "Apple Shop" that sells clothing instead of slick computers is a quick reminder that we're in China. Here is a video I found of the mall, if you'd like to see how huge it is: Grand Gateway Mall Video


4) For a country that seems to spit in the face of anything environmentally friendly, they have a genius invention on the toilets in our apartment. There are two buttons used to flush - one big and one small, each corresponding to the size of the flush needed. If you don't quite follow, imagine that you had a button labeled #1 and another labeled #2 on a toilet and what you would use them for. As you may be able to tell from my post on the bathrooms in Tokyo, I think the war on toilet technology (I bet you didn't know there was a war on toilet technology!) is clearly being won by the Asians.

Hello Tokyo, Goodbye Kevin Spacey

I'm at the airport in Tokyo, waiting for my connecting flight to Shanghai, now hours from reuniting with Rebecca. If you haven't been to Japan , the airport here is exactly what you'd expect it to be. It's like I'm in a spa. Everything has smooth lines, warm lighting, with accents of perfectly trimmed bamboo planted around white and black rocks. Flight over was smooth, long (14 hours), and a little boring. Did some work, watched some movies, and took some naps. Having sushi in the airport lounge in Tokyo and said hello to the fantastic high tech toilets here (seat warms, built in bidets, cleansers, etc...). I was tempted to use the thing to do my laundry, but figured it could wait. I wonder if it also doubles as a place to boil water for pasta?! Yummmmm. Also, had some of the "Sweat" drink offered here (see pic). Sounds appetizing, right?!

Kevin Spacey was hanging out next to me in the waiting lounge at Newark airport. That was kinda cool. We kept looking at each other, but I guess he was nervous to say hello to me. It did appear that he was coyly trying to snap a pic of me with his cell phone, but I dove behind a planter before he could get the new image for his MySpace page. You may be able to lure Superman into a near-death match, but you can't fool me, Lex Luthor!

3 hour flight to Shanghai, coming up! (total travel time: 14 hours to Tokyo, 4 hour layover, 3 hour flight to Shanghai= 21 hours)

Caffeine, Turtles, Duke, and Eden

1) Had too much coffee this morning and I am realllllly hyper right now. I bet Rebecca can't wait for hyper Aaron because...

2) I'm flying to Shanghai tomorrow!!!!!

3) Saw Eden, Sara, Eric, and Lauren last night to say goodbye. Great visit, but very sweet and sad when we put Eden to bed and she said "don't go to China, Aaron." It was a big of a tear jerker. I'm going to bring her back so much crap from China, Eric and Sara are going to have to get a storage facility to keep it all. Rebecca got us a pet baby turtle the other day that she named Tsiang Tao. I bet Eden and her soon-to-be-joining-the-world sibling would provide endless hours of love and torture to a Chinese turtle. I can see Eric and Sara right now mouthing, "noooooo!" hahahahahaha!!!

4) Right now I feel a bit overwhelmed emotionally and overcaffeinated physiologically. Today is my last day at the office! Last week, Duke (our black lab) was very sad when I sat him down to inform him he was being released of his duties of VP of Sales at the company. As he sat there, paw raised to the sky, and eyebrows perched in wonder, I explained to him why it really was for the best. Today, I'll have to take my own advice.

No TV for you!

I turned on my TV this evening to find the following message, see photo. If you cannot read the photo, it says:

"According to an announcement of the State Council of the People's Republic of China, May 19th - May 21st 2008 are national mourning days. In order to express our heartfelt condolences for the victims of the disasterous earthquake in Wenchuan, Sichuan Province, we will suspend the relay of overseas channels with limited landing rights that contain entertainment programmes during the above period. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation."

I asked our front desk attendant what this meant, and she said it includes ESPN, HBO, CNN, DISCOVERY, CINEMAX, & STAR.

A few thoughts running through my head right now:

1) Why are the only American channels suspended? Put another way, why are all the Chinese entertainment channels still airing? Seems to me, days of mourning should show equal opportunity to ALL tv, not just tv from the USA.

2) Would you ever see this happening in the US? I don't think so...

3) Its a very nice gesture, just kind of random. Nothing else has stopped... movie theaters open, bars open, entertainment around the city still happening, just international channels are blacked out. Kinda strange.

Going, going, gone!

I keep starting a new post and saving a draft to come back later because of one interruption or another. So, until I have a chance to write more, I just wanted to announce....

I HAVE SOLD MY BUSINESS - CONTRACT SIGNED - AND I'LL BE JOINING REBECCA IN SHANGHAI ONE DAY NEXT WEEK! WOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!

More details later..... Training the new owners now.

- Aaron

PS - You may notice that that I never put the company name in the blog - I don't want search engines to bring up this blog on a search for the business name.

Earthquake in China

I am not sure how big the news is in the USA regarding today's earthquake in China, but its the biggest news here. I just wanted to tell everyone that I am totally fine. I actually didn't feel a thing...

I try to spread out my blog entries but thought given the magnitude of this, it was worth sending two.

Mr Gu is learning English

Mr Gu is my driver. (I know it seems fancy to have a driver, but in China, it’s normal for expats to have them. Think about the liability for the company if an expat (especially me as the expat) has a car. Note: traffic laws are non-existent in China. Well, I take that back. If traffic laws exist, which they might, nobody follows them.)

For my first several weeks in China, my communication with Mr. Gu consisted of smiles/nods (hellos, goodbyes, and thank yous), sign language (tonight: fast pointing downward; tomorrow: rounded pointing to the right; lunch: moving your hand toward your mouth as if you are eating soup; and sleep: clasped hands placed on your cheek and tilting your head sideways), and numbers (for pick-up times: seven-fifteen, eight-thirty).

Then, about 2 weeks ago, Mr. Gu started using a few English words. He started saying, “Pick-Up” and “OK” and, when he is late (which is rare), “So sorry.” Oh, one more thing, when I started to use my Chinese he would give a slight giggle, shake his index finger, and say, “Rebecca, no try.”

But this morning, there was a major breakthrough: Mr. Gu started speaking to me in full sentences.

(As background, Matthew, Lena and I were in the office all day Sunday, working on a presentation. We were hungry for dinner and couldn’t order in food because we don’t speak Chinese and couldn’t spend the time to go out to dinner because of the deadline. We ended up calling Lena’s driver and asking him to pick up a Papa John’s pizza. Surprisingly, the pizza was pretty good!)

(Oh, one more point, Matthew's, Lena's, and my driver are all pals. They work for the same company and, as we have found, chat (gossip?) with each other about what’s going on with each of us)

Here is my conversation with Mr. Gu this morning:

Mr. Gu: I hear order pizza yesterday
RLP: Yes, work late. Very hungry
Mr. Gu: I very love pizza. I very love KFC.
RLP: (smile)
Mr. Gu: This why I very fat.
(aside: he’s not fat. But he’s also not string bean skinny like most other Asians. I’d say he could spare to lose maybe 15-20 lbs)
Mr Gu: My wife kill me. She say I pig. (this is followed by Mr. Gu making funny, snorting noises.)
RLP: (laughing aloud now)
Mr. Gu: I also very love football on TV. I drink beer while football. I very love beer. My wife kill me. My wife say, “Gu! Tea. No beer. Beer bad. You fat Gu!”

We both laugh aloud now as we pull up to my office. I wonder where the conversation would have gone if I lived further from the office…

Perhaps I should have told my Mandarin teacher that instead of learning how to say, “This is not a red book,” I should have learned to say hamburger, pizza, and fried chicken. At least then I could have started speaking to Mr. Gu weeks ago about something he is interested in!

Nothing like American fast food to break the cultural barriers.

Tai Chi Grandmas

Every morning, from 7 AM - 8 AM, this group of ladies (see photo) gathers in the courtyard in front of my apartment building for Tai Chi. I usually see them as I am scurrying from my apartment to the nearby Starbucks, to grab a Frappuccino and a blueberry muffin to go (ahh, the taste of home). Every time, they stop me in my tracks.

Their controlled gestures.

Their slow movements.

Their peaceful demeanor.

The calm aura that surrounds them.

It brings a smile to my face. I find myself a little more recentered. Moving a little slower as well. Stopping to take a deep breath (we will ignore the air pollution comments for right now). Thinking about what's really important in life. And forgetting, at least for a few minutes, about the deadlines for that day.

Zen by association.

And then, back to my Frap. Hey! I got stuff to do. :)

Exactly, what are you doing?

Now that I have answered my most popular question (how ARE you?), I thought I should spend some time answering the second most popular question: “Exactly what are you doing?” I am doing my best to make this entry concise!

Fact 1 Johnson & Johnson’s operating model: The Company is decentralized. Each sector, Medical Devices, Pharmaceuticals, Consumer Products, and within each sector, each operating company, operates on its own. J&J is an umbrella organization that owns over 200 companies around the world. The decentralized model allows for each business to learn their market and operate accordingly. And, as we have seen for over 100 years, this has worked. Yet a drawback to this model is the duplications of costs, best practices, and efforts. Therefore, recently, there has been a push to transform the enabling functions (HR, IT, Finance – those similar across all companies) into global functions where best practices, contacts, costs, systems, talent, etc is shared and leveraged.

Fact 2 China Talent: China is an emerging market and the economy is growing fast. When the economy grows, companies grow; and when companies grow, they need more people. Thus, there is strong competition for talent, both in recruiting new and retaining current employees. It is normal for employees to receive many calls from headhunters offering new opportunities, more money, and a better job.

Fact 1+2: Combining together Fact 1 and 2, creates a problem for J&J to strategically tackle the China War for Talent. Each operating company, each sector, is trying to individually recruit and retain employees, rather than leveraging the broader J&J name, and resources. Solution: Create a China Talent Center

China Talent Center: I (along with 2 others) was brought here to help design, plan, and build a China Talent Center (CTC). The CTC will be a centralized specialist group that will provide overall Talent Management strategy and standard practices for all operating companies in China. We will develop a unified approach to attract, develop, retain and deploy top talent so that the organization has a continuous pipeline of capable and ready leaders to achieve our growth and innovation goals in China.

Our work is focused on 3 main areas:
1) Local University recruiting in China for Undergraduate, Graduate, and PhD level candidates. This work will develop a J&J employment brand, build relationships with target schools, and standardize the on-boarding experience for all new hires.
2) Transforming the employee learning and development process, by providing consistent, cross-sector, One J&J training curriculum. The work will provide every employee with critical leadership and functional competency trainings.
3) Building a culture that ensures a pipeline of capable and ready leaders through talent development and organizational development. This work will focus on developing programs for high-potentials as well as creating structured processes for the organization to discuss, understand, and share talent across sectors.

We are still in the planning phase, conducting interviews across J&J China (from the presidents all the way down to employee focus groups) to understand their current state and their desired future state. From here, we will do a gap analysis and prepare recommendations. Once our recommendations are approved (early June), we will begin to execute on our early quick wins (what we can deliver in 2008) as well as create plan for 2009 and 2010.

Does that make sense?

The Big Great Wait and Lessons From Einstein (think: relativity)

With all that's been going on in China, I thought I'd give you an update from the USA. While I haven't flown 12 hours to nowhere or been nearly molested by a government-run medical lab, I would have preferred both.

After carefully evaluating my options, I decided to sell my business and my moving to Shanghai with Rebecca was contingent upon so doing. After a variety of interesting phone calls and meetings, I secured a nice couple as a buyer with a deal that would allow me to leave with Rebecca for China on April 7th. However, it fell through at the last minute and Rebecca and I decided it made the most sense for me to stay behind and spend 30 more days trying to sell the company. If I couldn't do so, I was going to close up shop and either store or liquidate the assets of the business, potentially selling or partnering my clients' inventory if possible. After many more conversations with interested parties, I've received three bids for the company. Unfortunately, one of them only wanted a few aspects of the business and the terms of the offer really made it unworkable. We pleasantly parted ways. I am left with two remaining offers, both with positive and negative aspects and terms. The last few weeks have been an uncomfortable dance of meetings, waiting, meetings, and more waiting with both prospects. I anticipate having a signed deal with on of them in the next few days, but I also would have told you that a few days ago. At this point, the lawyers are the problem and they are the among the final hurdles, though tall. We should sign soon, as the essence of the deal has been determined and agreed. After we sign, I'll train the buyers for approximately two weeks and then I'll head to Shanghai.

The last several weeks have been a real test of my patience and anxiety control and a great lesson in negotiations and how to buy and sell a business. Though I'm not always successful at it, I'm trying to keep a level head around the stresses that come with negotiating and waiting...and waiting...and waiting. I've learned to capture the momentum of a deal and I'm seeing what can happen as that momentum is slowed or lost. My intuition for the outcome of prospective buyers and offers is sharpening as it's tested on a daily basis. Last Wednesday, I went out to see my brother and my sister-in-law and their 2 1/2 year old daughter, Eden. Seeing Eden and her beautiful and innocent smile really helped put things into perspective. How bad can things be when my imaginary talking-friend, Mr. Thingy, brought to life by the oscillations of my pinching thumb and index finger, bring this child so much joy? While this business is the focus of what's going on in my life right now, there a many more important things for which I am proud and grateful. This lesson in relativity couldn't have come at a better time.

My strong feelings about the absence of Rebecca, given our soon-to-be-known date for our reunion, has given me a renewed appreciation for those whose spouses are sent overseas for military service. Even though she and I talk and video chat daily, it's very difficult to be apart from my new wife, especially during our first year of marriage. Each day feels longer than the day before. In the end, Rebecca and I will probably weather 4-6 weeks apart and we're not substantially concerned for each others' safety. However, it's hard to imagine what it would be like if she or I feared we wouldn't return. Another good lesson in relativity and a reminder of how fortunate we are that people more brave than I volunteer to serve our military.

In the end, this will work out well. The opportunity in Shanghai for Rebecca, and for me, is tremendous. Since we rented out our apartment to a good friend, I have had a unique opportunity to live with my parents again. I've enjoyed more time with my brother and his family (soon to be +1!) than I was expecting. I've had a chance to get one-on-one time with my mother-in-law for lunch on Friday and I'll get to celebrate Ruthie's 94th birthday in New York. The lessons about business condensed into these past months would probably have taken years to learn by more traditional means. There has been a real out pour of support by family, friends, and even some strangers, who are all rooting for us.

Now, I'm off to babysit Eden. Maybe this time I can teach her something.

(Mr Thingy in action)