READER DISCRETION ADVISED: If you are getting married at the Botanical Gardens on July 19, 2008, do not read this blog entry. All other brides, proceed with caution.
Annelies and I planned to meet up again to pick-up my bridesmaid's dress at the tailor. At first I thought I didn't need to bother her by asking her to meet me again. But, then I thought it would be best to have someone who spoke Chinese with me while I tried on the dress... just in case it wasn't quite right.
So, we've got the same scene as before: Really hot. I mean, really hot. One of those humid days when you are sweating from every pore. Tiny room. Dirty floor. A few old men hanging around. Lady who doesn't want to move to let me change. She finally does, sounding angry again. Annelies holds up the tiny fabric (this time even smaller, I'd say 2 feet x 5 feet).
I have a hard time getting the dress on... Its hard to move silk over a sweaty body. For all the women out there reading this, I hope you've never had this experience. But basically, the silk just sticks to wherever it lands. Its like putting on a wetsuit while its wet. OK, finally the dress gets on and the silk is in its place. I try not to move too much because its just so hot.
Point #1: I see a dark spot on the strap. A stain? I think to myself, OK, stay calm. No big deal, I'll just get the dress dry cleaned later.
Point #2: I see a tiny snag on the chest area. Ugh, I think. I'm starting to get a little aggravated but still trying to stay positive about the situation.
Point #3: I cannot pull up the zipper by myself so I ask Annelies for help. "Oh dear," she says in her little Belgian accent. "What?" I ask, a little concerned. "Well, seems I cannot get it closed." I suck in. Nope, cannot close it. I exhale out. Still cannot close it. She calls the tailor over for help. He aggressively moves the dress around on my sweaty body and tries to pull the zipper. He cannot close it either.
The series of events that follow include the Tailor saying something in Chinese, getting louder and louder, Annelies responding in Chinese, growing increasingly more angry, and me asking Annelies, "What? What'd he say?" after every exchange, growing more and more concerned.... The tailor offers the following reasons for why the dress doesn't zip:
"You more big since last time!" I know I've gained a little weight since coming to China (no carb left behind) but I also know that I didn't grow 1 inch in 4 days!
"Hot! It HOT! Body swollen from hot. That why no zip." OK, its hot, but my body doesn't expand THAT much when its hot out.
"I measure right. You body change. I cut only little."
"Dress made bad. You body no fit in dress. I make you dress. My dress, perfect fit! This dress. No good fit."
He then says (he really says this), "Who this Vera Wang? She from Hong Kong? Clothes no good in Hong Kong."
Despite all of the excuses he has for the dress not zipping, he and Annelies work it out that he will fix the dress so that it will zip... regarding the snag, he cuts the little thread and says that that type of fabric always snags... regarding the stain, he said he will take care of it.
I'm scheduled to go back on Sunday to pick it up... I hope this time it is OK.... stay tuned....
(Hi Sara, I know that you are reading this. Dont worry. The dress will be AOK!)
Annelies and I planned to meet up again to pick-up my bridesmaid's dress at the tailor. At first I thought I didn't need to bother her by asking her to meet me again. But, then I thought it would be best to have someone who spoke Chinese with me while I tried on the dress... just in case it wasn't quite right.
So, we've got the same scene as before: Really hot. I mean, really hot. One of those humid days when you are sweating from every pore. Tiny room. Dirty floor. A few old men hanging around. Lady who doesn't want to move to let me change. She finally does, sounding angry again. Annelies holds up the tiny fabric (this time even smaller, I'd say 2 feet x 5 feet).
I have a hard time getting the dress on... Its hard to move silk over a sweaty body. For all the women out there reading this, I hope you've never had this experience. But basically, the silk just sticks to wherever it lands. Its like putting on a wetsuit while its wet. OK, finally the dress gets on and the silk is in its place. I try not to move too much because its just so hot.
Point #1: I see a dark spot on the strap. A stain? I think to myself, OK, stay calm. No big deal, I'll just get the dress dry cleaned later.
Point #2: I see a tiny snag on the chest area. Ugh, I think. I'm starting to get a little aggravated but still trying to stay positive about the situation.
Point #3: I cannot pull up the zipper by myself so I ask Annelies for help. "Oh dear," she says in her little Belgian accent. "What?" I ask, a little concerned. "Well, seems I cannot get it closed." I suck in. Nope, cannot close it. I exhale out. Still cannot close it. She calls the tailor over for help. He aggressively moves the dress around on my sweaty body and tries to pull the zipper. He cannot close it either.
The series of events that follow include the Tailor saying something in Chinese, getting louder and louder, Annelies responding in Chinese, growing increasingly more angry, and me asking Annelies, "What? What'd he say?" after every exchange, growing more and more concerned.... The tailor offers the following reasons for why the dress doesn't zip:
"You more big since last time!" I know I've gained a little weight since coming to China (no carb left behind) but I also know that I didn't grow 1 inch in 4 days!
"Hot! It HOT! Body swollen from hot. That why no zip." OK, its hot, but my body doesn't expand THAT much when its hot out.
"I measure right. You body change. I cut only little."
"Dress made bad. You body no fit in dress. I make you dress. My dress, perfect fit! This dress. No good fit."
He then says (he really says this), "Who this Vera Wang? She from Hong Kong? Clothes no good in Hong Kong."
Despite all of the excuses he has for the dress not zipping, he and Annelies work it out that he will fix the dress so that it will zip... regarding the snag, he cuts the little thread and says that that type of fabric always snags... regarding the stain, he said he will take care of it.
I'm scheduled to go back on Sunday to pick it up... I hope this time it is OK.... stay tuned....
(Hi Sara, I know that you are reading this. Dont worry. The dress will be AOK!)
1 comment:
You more big! I am laughing my butt off. That is the best story ever -- oh, and the driver and the sex story. This is seriously a NYT best seller in the making.
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